Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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