can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
