THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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