I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
