theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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