all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
