"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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