he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
