im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
God I need to hump something, right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
