wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
