I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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