I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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