Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
