So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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