I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love you. Go after that dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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