I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you made out with another girl for some wings
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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