yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
