speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
