I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
