i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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