when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
