he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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