Christians are straight up FREAKS
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
