They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
