I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
