he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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