We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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