I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I love you. Go after that dick
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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