I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
