She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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