You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize