he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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