Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
