Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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