come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
