its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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