mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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