So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
