so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He passed out mid-signature
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
