Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
