I have demons in me.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
