stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
