Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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