I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
