It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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