New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
