There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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