I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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