my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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