I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
