So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
