HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
