i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
4 words: hood of his car
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
