why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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