it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
