There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, beer. Big fan.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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