I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My bed smells like the plague
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
