PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
