worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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